When you think about being assertive at work, you probably think about being brash and intimidating. The Devil Wears Prada!
However, assertiveness is different than using scare tactics to get what you want. In fact, assertiveness is about conveying a sense of confidence and competence, and influence in a firm, yet appropriate manner. When you are assertive you are effective at conveying your perspective and — as a result — others give it the weight it deserves.
Early in my career, I used to struggle with being assertive at work. I didn’t know how to confidently convey my perspective and be heard. Since I was (am) small in stature, have a higher-pitched voice, and speak quickly, I just didn’t come across as assertive.
In order to be more assertive at work, I resorted to behaviors that I am not proud of; I was bossy, rude, and aggressive.
What happened?
Not surprisingly, it didn’t work. Perhaps I got what I wanted in the short term, but I didn’t gain any long-term respect. In order to be assertive, you have to convey confidence, competence, and influence. The aggressive behaviors I displayed were actually projecting my insecurity more than anything else.
So, what should you do?
How to be More Assertive at Work
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Maintain Eye Contact
When people are dishonest, uncomfortable, or nervous they avoid making eye contact. On the other hand, maintaining strong eye contact during a conversation will ensure that you are conveying your sincerity, seriousness, and credibility.
If you declare your opinion while ensuring you make eye contact, then you certainly be perceived as being more assertive.
2. Low Pitched Voice
Researchers have shown that people with lower-pitched voices are perceived as stronger leaders (and may, in fact, actually be stronger leaders). I suspect that higher-pitched voices are more strongly associated with youth and, therefore, less experience and credibility. As a result, people with higher-pitched voices can be less effective when asserting themselves. It’s no surprise that candidates with lower-pitched voices tend to win elections!
I’d encourage you to state your perspective in a lower-pitched voice. Now, I’m not saying that you should talk like Elizabeth Holmes! Rather, I suggest you just catch yourself if your voice gets too high (which it can when you are nervous) and try to lower it slightly. You’ll come off as more in control, more confident, and mature. And, in the end, you will be more assertive.
3. Professional Appearance
We already discussed how Fortune’s Most Powerful Women frequently wear blazers. Professional attire goes a long way to conveying power and influence. Just like police officers wear a uniform, business people wear blazers and suits to convey their role of authority.
You don’t need to dress formally every day, but consider stepping up your attire in situations in which you want to increase your influence and assert your perspective.
4. Brevity
You should avoid saying too many words in situations where you want to assert your opinion. Going on and on about something will only reduce your influence; your main point will get lost. Let’s look at which is more powerful:
“My current budget isn’t enough and I was thinking about how I would be able to be more effective if I had a higher budget. I really tried to make the current budget work but it won’t. I was hoping to get $2M more for our budget.”
OR…..
“I need a $2M increase in budget.”
By using fewer words, your audience has more clarity on your perspective, and, as a result, your words have more power. As a result, you’ll be more effective at asserting your opinion if you are efficient with your words.
5. Avoid Hedge Words
What are hedge words? Any word that caveats or lessens your perspective. Examples of these words include:
- “May:” “I may be able to complete that assignment.”
- “Could:” “I could do it that way”
- “Probably:” “I probably can do that assignment”
- “I think:” “I think I can complete that assignment”
Would you have confidence and be influenced by someone who said these phrases??!
Want to know what to say instead?
Get an e-Guide with the key Phrases for Assertive Communication at Work when you sign up for Mrs. Type A. Learn the exact phrases you need to say in order to make sure your perspective is heard and that you influence others. Sign up here:
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